Opposites Attract

Opposites Attract
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You can allow those ways you're opposite to destroy you or be a constant and endless source of trouble for you by demanding that your partner be just like you; or you can help them to morph into some of your greatest strengths. The key to the latter is to recognize that your differences can give you a much greater range and perspective as a team than you could ever have on your own. The choice is yours.

Couples, who use those opposite characteristics optimally, operate with four eyes and four ears, rather than negating and making each other wrong -- which will create a perpetual and perhaps unresolvable conflict. Here's an exercise to help you look at the items where you are opposites in your relationship: Have a lighthearted as opposed to hostile discussion about all of the ways in which you recognize yourselves as being opposite.

Make a list of all those opposite traits or preferences that you are able to recognize. Couples who take the time to do this thoroughly are usually quite surprised to find that most of their opposite traits actually serve them! Obvious examples: One loves to cook; the other hates to but loves to eat; one is a good money manager, the other is inept at handling finances; one is a very strict parent, the other is quite liberal.

For example, one couple I worked with demonstrated a common example.

His idea of a vacation is to go someplace warm, and lie on the beach or at a pool. She loves vacations where there is lots to do and see. In fact the more her schedule is crammed with activities when she is away, the better. They fought so bitterly about their vacations that they spent several years not going away at all, despite the fact that they could well afford to. Their solution: vacations where each could do what he or she wanted. Linda Bloom, L. Back Psychology Today.

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You start chatting and feel instant chemistry. Materials provided by Boston College. Even couples who differ in race, culture and other significant areas will have things in common on a deeper level. Over and over again, the same romantic dynamic is kindled. Similarities in age, intelligence, religion, and education level are the blocks that build the foundation for a healthy relationship.

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opposites attract

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  • Pay attention to the differences between you and your partner, even when you first start dating;

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